Self-Compassion

How do I treat myself when things are hard?

Twenty-six statements from the Self-Compassion Scale about how you typically act toward yourself in difficult times.

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26 statements · About 5 minutesOur estimate

Validated Instrument

What it looks at

How you respond to yourself when things are hard, in three parts — each with a kinder and a harsher side:

Self-kindness and self-judgmentBeing warm, caring and patient with yourself when you’re hurting or facing your flaws. Or: being disapproving, tough or cold toward yourself about flaws and failures.
Common humanity and isolationSeeing difficulties and failings as part of life that other people share too. Or: feeling cut off and alone in failure, as if other people have it easier.
Mindfulness and over-identificationKeeping painful feelings in balance and meeting them with curiosity and openness. Or: getting carried away by painful feelings and fixating on what’s wrong.

What it does not measure

It is not a diagnosis, and it doesn’t measure your mental health.
It doesn’t compare you with other people. There are no percentiles, and no clinical cut-off points exist for this scale.
It isn’t a verdict on whether you’re a kind person. It looks at how you respond to yourself in difficult times.
It doesn’t measure global self-worth — Infeee’s Self-Esteem assessment looks at that separately.

What you’ll see

You’ll see the scale’s total on a plain 1–5 line, then the three parts with their kinder and harsher sides shown separately, as you answered them, and which side you reported more often. There are no percentiles or comparisons with other people.

Evidence and research basis

Validated Instrument

A published questionnaire whose reliability and validity have been studied by researchers, used here with its items, response format and scoring unchanged. Infeee did not create or validate it.

How Infeee labels evidence

Validated instrument: the Self-Compassion Scale (SCS), used unchanged.

The 26 statements, the response scale and the scoring follow the Self-Compassion Scale as published by its author, Kristin Neff, who permits its use for any purpose. Infeee did not create or validate the scale. The descriptions and reflection prompts on this page are Infeee’s and are not part of the instrument.

This is self-report about how you typically respond in difficult times. A hard week can colour your answers.

Researchers debate whether one total is the best summary. Some argue that the kinder and the harsher statements behave differently; the scale’s author reports evidence for a total plus six parts. Infeee shows both.

Every score carries some measurement error, so small differences between parts don’t mean much.

Sources (4)

Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223–250.The original development and validation of the Self-Compassion Scale.
Neff, K. D. Self-Compassion Scale (SCS): permission letter, scale and scoring key.The statements, instructions and scoring used here, the author’s permission, and her note that there are no clinical norms.
Neff, K. D., Tóth-Király, I., Yarnell, L. M., Arimitsu, K., Castilho, P., Ghorbani, N., … Mantzios, M. (2019). Examining the factor structure of the Self-Compassion Scale in 20 diverse samples: Support for use of a total score and six subscale scores. Psychological Assessment, 31(1), 27–45.Supports reporting a total score and six subscale scores.
Muris, P., & Petrocchi, N. (2017). Protection or vulnerability? A meta-analysis of the relations between the positive and negative components of self-compassion and psychopathology. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 24(2), 373–383.Argues that the compassionate and the self-critical items behave differently, so a single total can blur them.

About this topic

In the original studies, the total score was internally consistent (Cronbach’s alpha .92), as were the six subscales (.75 to .81).

Across 20 samples (11,685 people), a model with one general self-compassion factor plus six specific factors fit the data well, supporting a total and six subscale scores.

Other researchers found that the self-critical statements were more strongly linked to mental-health problems than the compassionate ones were, and argue that one total can blur the two.

Sources (3)

Your privacy

Your answers are processed in your browser and aren’t saved — not on this device and not on our servers.

When you finish, you can choose to add the result to your Pattern Map. It’s saved only in this browser on this device, and you can remove it at any time.

Before you start

26 statements · about 5 minutes. This is a self-reflection tool, not a diagnosis. Your answers stay on this device.

How I typically act towards myself in difficult times

Please read each statement carefully before answering. For each item, indicate how often you behave in the stated manner, using the following 1–5 scale. Please answer according to what really reflects your experience rather than what you think your experience should be.

Every statement needs an answer before a result can be calculated. You can go back to change an answer, or stop at any time — nothing is saved along the way.

This is a reflection tool, not a diagnosis. If you feel unsafe or need urgent help, contact your local emergency or crisis support service.

Ready when you are.